IF
by scarlett2112
Summary: The heart, like the mind, has a memory. And in it are kept the most precious keepsakes. *tissue alert*


_**This idea just popped into my head. It practically wrote itself. I hope you like it. You might want to have some tissues handy.**_

* * *

 _'If a picture paints a thousand words then why can't I paint you? The words will never show the you I've come to know'..._ _..._

 _With her head buried in a textbook, Elena gets up to walk over to the drink counter. The next thing she knows, she is sitting flat on her ass, soda spilled all over both her and the book. Aghast and ready to lambaste whoever bumped into her, Elena looks up. Finding herself unable to speak when she sees who's staring down at her, she gawps like a guppy. Offering his hand, Elena stares at it for a few seconds before latching on, letting him pull her up._

 _"I'm so sorry," she sputters, completely lost in his hypnotic blue eyes. Bending down, the man picks up the book and hands it to her._

 _"I'm Damon."_

 _"I'm Elena. I'm so sorry, Damon. I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing."_

 _"No worries, Elena."_

 _"Can I buy you another drink, you know since I'm wearing your other one?" Elena chuckles, unable to take her eyes from his._

 _"How about I buy you one instead. Then maybe we can get acquainted?"_

 _"Rain check? I really need to change."_

 _"Of course. Can I have your phone for a moment?" Smiling widely, Elena hands it to him. With a smirk, Damon adds his phone number to her contact list, immediately calling his own phone so he has her number as well. Leaning forward so his lips are close to her ear, Damon whispers, "Goodbye, Elena." then walks off. Elena's eyes are glued to him until he disappears out of the bookstore's door._

Snapped from the memory when she hears her daughter's voice, Elena looks up. "Mom, do you want me to sit with him for awhile? You're exhausted," their daughter, Anissa asks, her eyes on her father. Elena sits upright in the recliner. Yawning, she drags herself out of the chair. Standing up, Elena lays a kiss to her husband's sweat dampened forehead. His breathing is raspy and guttural sounding now as he continues to deteriorate. Knowing that this beautiful man, the love of her life isn't long for this world, Elena moistens a washcloth. With each press of the cloth to his feverish skin, Elena can feel her heart shatter a little more. Although they are grateful that his misery will soon end, Elena doesn't begin to know what she'll do without him. She has loved him through the good and the bad, in sickness and in health and every moment in between.

Struck down with early onset Alzheimer's disease, Damon has been put through the proverbial wringer. Every medication known to exist to treat the heinous yet deadly disease has been tried. Some worked for awhile but when Damon's mind got so bad that he needed twenty four hour care, Elena feels so fortunate to be able to afford to pay for the nursing care that her beloved husband requires.

 _"Damon, Stop! This isn't you," Elena pleads when Damon raises his hand to her, pushing her away with so much force it causes her to stumble. She knows that it's not his fault. The disease has robbed him of his cognitive abilities. When Elena stands up to help him walk to the bathroom so he won't fall, he pushes her away again. There's no recognition in his eyes anymore, the spark, the twinkle that he always had for her is nothing but a distant memory now._

 _"Damon, please let me help you," Elena pleads but he bulldozes his way past her anyway. Undaunted, she takes him by the arm just as her son, Jack runs in, having heard his mother's pleas._

 _"Do you need help?" Jack asks, his eyes darting between both of his parents._

 _"He needs to use the bathroom but he keeps pushing me away. I'm afraid he'll fall."_

 _Nodding, Jack takes his other arm to help her lead Damon into the bathroom. Knowing the toll this disease has taken not only on his dad but also on his mom spurs Jack to action. "I'll help him, mom. Why don't you take a break?"_

 _Nearing the breaking point, Elena wars with herself for a moment. When she feels Jack's hand, she raises her eyes to his. Seeing only understanding, she nods._ _"I will," Elena agrees, silently thanking her son. Standing on her tiptoes, she presses a kiss to Damon's cheek then walks to the door. Turning around to share one last look with Jack, Elena's tears finally break through the barricade. Even though she knows that Damon has no comprehension of her pain, Elena still doesn't want him to see her cry so she quickly hurries out, pausing only to pull the door closed behind her._

"I don't want to leave him, Anissa. I'd never forgive myself if I wasn't with him when..."

"Mom, dad wouldn't you to collapse with exhaustion."

"I know that, sweetheart," Elena adds, her eyes drifting from Damon to their daughter. "Maybe I will take a little nap but you have to promise me that you'll wake me if it gets close."

"I promise mom. Jack went to get some food. He'll be back by the time you wake up."

"Alright," Elena surrenders. Before walking away, she places a kiss to his dry lips and another on his forehead. After squeezing his hand, she shares a look with her daughter then leaves the bedroom to take a nap. It doesn't take long for her eyes to drop closed and her mind to transport her to happier times.

 _"Stop Damon," Elena squeals as he chases after her in the grove of trees near her home._

 _"Why must you always run away?" Damon asks, smiling because he knows the answer._

 _"Because I know that you will chase," Elena teases, giving him a wink. In the time it takes for her to blink, Damon is standing before her with her back rubbing against a tree trunk. Staring at her as if she were the only woman on earth, Damon leans forward, capturing her lips in a languid kiss._

Waking up with a start, Elena sighs. Taking a few moments to get her bearings, she throws her legs over the side of the bed. After putting on her robe, she quickly runs to Damon's room, the room that they shared for so many years. On the walls are pictures of their children. Pictures of Damon and her are sitting atop the dresser and at Damon's bedside. Although he hasn't recognized Elena for a very long time, it would comfort her to see him picking up her picture if for no other reason than to play with the filigree edging on the frame. Needing to reassure herself that he's still alive, Elena breathes a sigh of relief when she sees that his chest is still rising and falling. Quickly walking over to his bedside, Elena drops a kiss to his cheek and takes his hand in hers, stroking it lovingly. Noticing Anissa asleep in the recliner, Elena takes her voice to a whisper to ask the nurse how he's doing.

"I gave him some morphine a little while ago to help his breathing," Mary explains. Taking a swab and some salve, Mary cleans his mouth and moistens his lips with the product. Although Damon only lapsed into unconsciousness yesterday, Elena quickly called their children when Mary told her that his final days are upon them. Fighting back her tears, Elena lifts his hand, pressing a kiss to the base of his thumb. Laying his arm down carefully, Elena fingers the damp hair off of his forehead.

"Are you giving him anything for his fever?" Elena asks, feeling how hot his skin is to her touch.

"I can give him a Tylenol suppository if you want to help me roll him over?" Mary offers, smiling sadly at Elena.

"Of course, Mary. All I want is for him to be as comfortable and as pain free as possible. I fell in love with Damon the moment I crashed into him, literally," Elena laughs, her fingers still laced in his hair. Although gray, Damon still has a full head of hair. Elena has always loved to run her fingers though it when they were making love. Folding Damon lovingly in her arms, Elena pulls him towards her so Mary can insert the suppository. Even though his eyes remain closed, his breath hitches slightly when Elena cuddles him in her embrace. She doesn't want to let go but Damon is heavy despite his frail appearance. After holding him close for a few extra moments, she gently releases him onto his back again.

"Should we turn him off of his back, I don't want him to have any skin breakdown. Mary, I know that he probably won't live that long but I don't want him to have another thing to cause him pain should he rebound."

"Of course, Mrs. Salvatore. I'll pull him over if you want to prop the pillows behind his back." Nodding Elena grabs a couple, inserting them behind his back so his butt is off of the mattress for awhile. When Damon starts to grab at his oxygen, Mary puts a drop of Ativan under his tongue, calming down once it starts to take effect. With Damon feverish, Elena only pulls a light blanket up to cover him. Since Anissa is still sleeping nearby, Elena pulls up a chair to sit down at his bedside while holding his hand in hers. After Mary excuses herself to use the bathroom, Elena's memories fill her head.

" _Go away, Damon. I'm mad at you."_

 _"Gosh damn it, Elena. I didn't do anything wrong. Why won't you believe me?"_

 _"Because I saw you flirting with my own two eyes."_

 _"Elena, you know that I love you. I mean, surely a guy can still look?"_

 _"You're an ass, do you know that? If I was openly flirting with another guy, you'd be apoplectic but I'm just supposed to brush it off. I don't think so."_

 _"Nothing happened because it's you I want to be with."_

 _"You still didn't have to flirt with her."_

 _"I'm sorry... just please forgive me," Damon pleads. Sighing in frustration, Elena turns away, not seeing that he's closed the distance between them. When she moves to face him again, Damon is right in front of her. "Please, Elena," Damon repeats, cupping her cheek with one of his hands._

 _"Don't do it again," Elena pouts, her pout quickly replaced by his mouth when he captures her lips in a sweltering kiss._

"Mom, did you have a nap?" Anissa asks, her voice arousing Elena from her thoughts.

"Yes, I slept good for a couple of hours. I wanted to check on your father so I got up."

"But mom, you need to take care of yourself too," Anissa protests, standing up to step beside her mother at her dad's bedside.

"Please understand, Anissa. I know you mean well, I do but I need to be with him. I can't and I won't let him die alone."

"He won't be alone. One of us is always with him."

"Sweetheart, I'm not going to argue with you. I'm staying," Elena starts to say, stopping when she notices her son Jack step into the room.

"Anissa are you pestering mom again?" Jack asks, staring pointedly at his sister.

"Jack, don't be mean. She's coping the only way she knows how," Elena says, gently chastising her son. Sometimes Jack will have a look on his face and in moments like that, it's like she's looking at a young Damon. Jack resembles his father so much. And although he has his 'Damon' moments temperament wise, Jack takes after her much more so than he does Damon. Anissa too is the spitting image her father. Her hair is black and shiny, reaching down to her bottom. Sometimes Anissa, like Jack, will have a little twinkle in her blue eyes that speaks Damon more than anything else. Elena is so grateful to have her two children here when she needs them the most.

"I brought some food, mom. I can sit with him if you want to take a break to have something to eat."

"Sure," Elena agrees, linking her arm with Anissa's the two of them go to eat a little bit. Watching them walk away, Jack tells Mary that she can take a break so he can have a few minutes alone with his father. "Dad, it's me. I love you so much and I want you to know that it's okay to leave. It hurts to see you in pain. I promise that I'll take care of Mom and Anissa for you. I've missed you for so long already, dad. I miss the fishing trips that we used to take and I remember when you taught me how to drive. You were about almost ready to throw in the towel and make mom take over but you hung in there with me." Feeling tears start to run down his cheeks, Jack reaches for a tissue. After wiping his eyes, he leans over to press a kiss to his dad's forehead. Smiling sadly, he sits down in the chair, holds his father's hand and closes his eyes, the weight of this is simply overwhelming. Jack has never had to deal with such profound loss before but he knows that he lost his dad along time ago, the disease leaving nothing but a shell behind.

 _"Is something wrong, dad?" Jack asks, seeing the confused look on his father's face. Damon is standing beside the horse, his eyes darting all over the place. Jack can see how frustrated his father is getting. He watches as Damon touches the saddle and the horn, even running his hand along the stirrups but he makes no move to get on the horse._

 _"What is it?"_

 _"I... I don't know what to do," Damon admits, stepping away from the horse. Instinctively knowing that something is very wrong with his dad, Jack feels a growing sense of dread beginning to build in his belly. After swallowing down the lump in his throat, he ties the reins of his own horse to the fence before stepping in front of his dad. Seeing how upset Damon is, his own anxiety matching it, Jack takes his hand._

 _"Come on, we'll go in the house. Mom will know what to do," he says calmly, hoping to reassure both himself and his father. Damon stares at him for a moment almost as if he doesn't know him before finally nodding his head. Taking his hand, Jack holds on tight because deep inside he knows that these father and son moments are coming to an end._

When Elena finishes eating, she goes back into the room to spend the evening with Damon. Seeing Jack asleep, his face laying on Damon's hand takes her breath away. Not wanting to wake her son yet, Elena tiptoes to the bedside. Ever so quietly she takes the time to whisper in Damon's ear that she's back and press another loving kiss to his still beautiful face. Sitting down in the chair on the other side of Damon's bed, Elena focuses on her son. Jack looks so peaceful in this moment. Elena can't help but remember how giddy both she and Damon were on the day he was born.

 _"You can do it, Elena. I can see the head," Damon tells her, his eyes wide with wonder and awe._

 _"With the next contraction, push, Elena," the doctor says, encouraging her. Feeling the contraction being to peak, Elena pushes as hard as she can, finally feeling the baby leave her body._

 _"It's a boy," Damon screams, beside himself with happiness as soon as he looks between the baby's legs. "Thank you, Elena. I love you so much," Damon tells her, leaning over, he captures her lips in a smoldering kiss._

"Mom? How long have you been here?" Jack asks, startling awake when Mary comes back into check on Damon. With Elena's help, Mary washes him up and then repositions him again. "I came in not long ago. Why don't you go take a nap, Jack? You look all in."

"So do you, mom."

"I'll be fine. I'm going to stay with your dad."

"Okay," he agrees. "Mary, please come and get me if mom won't go to sleep," Jack adds, walking out of the room as soon as Mary nods. "You have wonderful children, Mrs. Salvatore."

"Damon and I are very blessed," Elena agrees, pressing a moist washcloth to Damon's forehead again. Suddenly, Damon starts thrashing and try as she might, Elena can't get him to settle down. Mary quickly takes a hold of his arms, gently restraining them so Elena can drop the medication into his mouth. Even though he settles down in short order, Elena can feel tears beginning to form because it hurts to see her beloved Damon in pain. Needing a few moments to compose herself, Elena walks outside to take a few breaths of the crisp fall air. When her eye catches the swing, Elena walks over to sit down. Dropping her face into her hands, Elena finally releases the tears, her whole body quaking under the weight of everything that both she and Damon have been through.

 _"What are you doing?" Elena asks when he covers her eyes with his hands._

 _"I have a surprise for you," Damon whispers, dropping a kiss to the back of her head. Keep them closed or there will be hell to pay," Damon teases, leading her from the car. "Up the steps," he adds, holding onto her tightly so she won't slip. As soon as they're standing on the porch, Damon removes his hands from her eyes, whispering Happy Anniversary in her ear. Elena is stunned speechless when she finds a porch swing. Her parents house had one and Elena has always wanted one too._

 _"Damon, I love it," Elena cries, turning around to throw her arms around his neck. "I love you so much, Damon Salvatore."_

 _"I love you too." Taking her hand, Damon leads her to the swing. Sitting down, Damon wraps her in his arms, holding onto his girl for dear life._

"Mom?" Anissa says, stepping outside herself, she hands Elena a mug of hot chocolate.

"I just needed a moment, Anissa. Mm, this is good," she adds, taking a sip.

"What were you thinking about, mom? You seemed to be in your own little world for a few seconds."

"I was just thinking about the time your dad surprised me with this porch swing. My parents had one and their porch was 'our' place so he bought this and gave it to me for our third anniversary." Taking a deep breath, Elena raises her eyes. It's a beautiful night and although the air is crisp, the moon is bright and the stars are twinkling. Elena happens to look up just in time to see a star shoot across the horizon disappearing just as quickly as it appeared.

"Did you make a wish?" Anissa asks, leaning against her mom.

"I did. And before you ask, I can't tell you," Elena teases, putting her arm around her daughter giving her a squeeze. As soon as Elena finishes her mug of hot chocolate, she gets up to go back to Damon. "You coming?"

"I'm going to stay out here for a few more minutes, mom. I love you."

"I love you too," Elena tells her then disappears inside the house. After putting her mug in the kitchen sink, she goes back to Damon. Her man is still so handsome. Sometimes Elena wonders why Damon had to be struck down in the prime of life with such a heinous disease. Damon was just sixty years old when he was diagnosed. Unwilling to let things she can't change gnaw at her, Elena hurries to his bedside, kissing his lips like the first time.

 _"I had a wonderful time, Damon. Thank you." Taking her hand, Damon walks her up the steps to her parents door. Not wanting to go inside just yet, Elena points to the swing. Smiling widely, Damon tightens his grip on her hand, leading her to sit down. Scooting close so their skin touches, Damon stretches his arm over her shoulder, pulling her into his chest. Unable to help himself, he presses a kiss to the crown of her head. Elena smiles against his chest when she feels it. Wanting nothing more to have a taste of him, Elena sits upright, cradles his cheeks with her palms and pulls his lips to hers. Elena's mold and slide against his and when she opens her mouth, Damon thrusts his tongue inside, tangling it with hers. When they pull apart both Damon and Elena are awed by what they have just shared._

Elena rubs her temples when her head starts to throb. Since she wants to hold Damon in her arms, Elena climbs into the bed and wraps his arm around her. Mary gives her an understanding smile and then leaves the room, closing the door shut softly behind her. "I love you so much, Damon. Wherever you go, please don't forget that I love you more than I ever thought it possible to love another human being." Leaning up on her elbow, she strokes his face with her other palm as tears fill her eyes. Suddenly extremely fatigued, Elena cuddles against his chest and goes to sleep.

 _"Damon, Elena," Dr. Fell greets them when he steps into the exam room._

 _"What did his MRI show? Do you know what's causing his forgetfulness?" Elena asks, her hand linked with Damon's. Damon is stoic because he knows something is very wrong. Elena has sensed his melancholy for some time already._

 _"I'm sorry, Damon. You're my friend and I hate this but it looks like you have Alzheimer's disease. Your symptoms add up. The disease can't be positively diagnosed without looking at the brain post mortem but it all adds up."_

 _"NO," Elena screams, recoiling in fear. Turning her eyes to Damon's, she sees absolute devastation dimming his beautiful eyes._

 _"What do we do?" Damon asks, his affect flat._

 _"Damon, there is medication available. We'll start you on Aricept and Namenda. They're both used to treat the cognitive symptoms of Alzheimer's disease."_

 _"How long before I don't know my family?" Damon asks. Elena can see that he's struggling to keep his composure._

 _"As Alzheimer's progresses, brain cells die and connections among cells are lost, causing cognitive symptoms to worsen. While current medications cannot stop the damage Alzheimer's causes to brain cells, they may help lessen or stabilize symptoms for a limited time by affecting certain chemicals involved in carrying messages among the brain's nerve cells. Doctors such as myself sometimes prescribe both types of medications together. Some doctors also prescribe high doses of vitamin E for cognitive changes of Alzheimer's disease."_

 _Dropping his face into his hands, Damon's whole body shakes. Unable to cope herself, Elena drapes her arm over his back and cries with him. After several moments, the two regain their composure long enough to ask Tobias questions. He also gives them pamphlets with information about the disease and support groups as well as prescriptions for the medications he mentioned._

"Mom," Elena stirs when she hears her son's voice.

"What?"

"I thought maybe you'd want to go to your own bed."

"No, I want to stay with him," Elena whispers, her eyes darting from Damon's to Jack's.

"I'm sorry I woke you. I just thought maybe you'd be more comfortable in your own bed."

"It's okay, Jack but I want to be with your dad. After checking to make sure that Damon is clean and still dry, Elena looks at the clock. "Tell Mary to come in a couple of hours. If he stirs before that, I'll get her up."

"Alright mom. I love you."

"I love you too. Goodnight now," Elena whispers, laying back down, falling back to sleep as soon as her head rests against his chest again.

 _"I love you so much, Elena," Damon whispers, taking his place in the cradle of her legs. With his length teasing her opening, Elena cups his cheeks and pulls his lips to hers. While their lips slide seamlessly together, Damon pushes inside, his eyes rolling at the exquisiteness of being here with her right now. When Elena really thinks about it, she's still awed every day by the fact that Damon chose her. Needing air, Elena pull hers lips away while dropping her forehead to rest against his. Pushing in and out, while rolling his hips, Elena gasps at the way Damon's body is probing her insides. This magic between them will never get old._

 _"More Damon," Elena begs, raising her hips to meet his. Much to Elena's pleasure, Damon ramps it up a notch, slamming into her even harder. Dropping his face into the crook of her neck, Elena can feel Damon struggling to maintain his control. Although she pouts, Damon pulls out and helps Elena onto her knees. Finding purchase on her hips, Damon surges back inside, pushing deeper with each forward thrust of his pistoning hips. Flesh slapping against flesh and the delicious noises leaving Elena's lips fill the room with the sounds of their love making. When Elena feels her body begin to shudder chaotically, Damon grunts and growls, no doubt feeling his own belly begin to coil and heat up._

 _Reaching Nirvana together, they both scream the others name, her body quivering and quaking with the force of the Krakatoa eruption. Unable to hold himself up, Damon collapses onto her, pressing her body into the mattress. Not wanting to crush her, Damon starts to roll off, stopping only when Elena shifts and wraps her arms around his middle, begging him to let the moment linger. Even though both are covered with a light sheen of perspiration, Elena revels in these moments because she knows that nothing will ever get any better than this._

Her eyes fly open for a moment. Looking over at Damon, she lets out a heavy breath when she sees that he's still alive. Taking his hand, she lays it over his heart and then hers atop his before closing her eyes again, hoping that her beloved husband's suffering will be over soon. Startled upright when she hears Damon's rattled breathing, Elena knows that it's close. Feeling herself on the verge of tears again, Elena quickly yells for Jack and Anissa to hurry. Repositioning herself enough to gather him in her arms, Elena can see and hear his agonal breathing, each respiration taking longer than the one before it. With her eyes focused only on him, she presses kiss after kiss to his heated skin. She raises her eyes only to acknowledge her children when the bedroom door flies open.

"I love you, daddy," Anissa cries, clasping his hand between hers tightly.

"Dad, we're all here. You don't have to be afraid anymore. Let go, dad. We'll be okay, I promise," Jack tells him, his voice stilted by the heaviness of his tears.

Because Elena knows that hearing is the last sense to leave the body, Elena places her lips against his ear whispering, "I love you, Damon and when I met you, I found everything I never knew that I wanted. I love you, Damon, only you. We'll see each other again, I promise," Elena adds, holding his body tightly against hers. And then if by some miracle, Damon turns his head and opens his eyes. For one brief shining moment, their eyes meet before Damon takes his last breath, his once stunning blue eyes falling closed for the final time.

 _If the world should stop revolving_

 _spinning slowly down to die_

 _I'd spend the end with you_

 _And when the world was through_

 _Then one by one the stars would all go out_

 _Then you and I would simply fly away._

* * *

 _Tears... Alzheimer's is a heinous disease and nothing to be made light of. It's horrible and as Jack said, it leaves behind only a shell of the person you love. I remember being in a room with a patient who no longer recognized the grandchild. That young person was so distraught, ending up leaving the room in tears. I've seen that so many times as a nurse._

 _It's Memorial day in the United States. Please remember our warriors who sacrificed their all to give us the freedoms that we enjoy._

 _Thank you so much for helping me with this Eva. You deserve so much credit and I can't begin to thank you. Love you very much._

 _I really would love to hear your thoughts on this._

 _Title and lyrics: 'If' by Bread. I don't know why when I upload lyrics they always separate with a space between them. I don't put the space there when I write them?_

 _Synopsis courtesy of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow._

 _Please give my other stories a look as well. I'm especially proud of 'Seven Year Ache'. I also have 'The Dating Game', Nothing Left to Fear' and 'Turn the Page' in progress. Your support is what keeps Eva and I engaged in writing DE stories. I just don't want to say goodbye to them, I probably never will._

 _Please remember to click that review button. Have a safe and wonderful day._


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